Big girl!

Yesterday was miss bug's 4 month check up and she's growing like a weed! She topped the charts at 14lbs 6oz and 25 1/2 inches long, she's in the 75% for both height and weight! What a big girl she's becoming!

Each day is a little more exciting at our house. She wakes up with a smile and goes to bed with a fight. Our party animal doesn't like to rest. Naps are for sissies, really :)

She's hysterical. Last night we put her in the exersaucer and she loves it! She reached with her left arm to hit some buttons that make farm animal noises. You can imagine her delight when she would hit it and then the farm animals would start. She did this a bunch of times in a row with a giant grin on her face. You can imagine our delight as parents to watch her reach for something and then discover cause and effect. It was so much fun. Ryan and I were over the moon! It's great to see that she's using both arms equally.

She's also started laughing more regularly. It's hysterical to hear a big laugh come out of such a little person! I was running my scarf over her face and she would giggle. This morning I was kissing her tummy and she was laughing. It's too much fun!

Bella is also a talker, imagine that! She's babbling up a storm, cooing and making all sorts of baby noises. She's a bubble maker and a slobber machine. I think she might be starting to teeth but who knows for sure. I asked the doctor about that and she said "she could be", way to give me concrete answers doc! I could have told YOU that "she could be" :)

All of this makes me wanna have like 10 kids. If only my body would go back to it's rockin' tight shape after each one... If only my mind would still process things on little to no sleep.... if only I had an endless amount of money to support them all... if only!

What are you thankful for?

Here's part of my list this Thanksgiving with a few pictures for an added bonus :) 

My little ladybug! She's happy and healthy and I love her to the moon and back!

Being able to provide plenty of milk to help my daughter grow, it makes me feel AMAZING that I am her soul source of nutrition.

My incredible husband. He's the definition of team mate in my book. He does whatever our little family needs to make the day a little smoother. He's my prince charming and watching him with our daughter makes me fall even more in love with him. Oh and he's the king of cloth diapering! (I just thought this picture was too funny to pass up)

My little brother, although these days he's much bigger than I am! This picture of him with Bella boo melts my heart, she's a tiny peanut next to him. Our relationship has come so far and I am thankful that today I can call him one of my best friends.

My dad and that his preliminary test results are negative for cancer. I was super worried about the whole thing. Now, I'm hoping that on my list next year I can be thankful that he quit smoking (hint hint Dad!!)

My momma, she's one of my best friends and I'm so thankful that her cancer is in remission! Each year I hope to continue to be thankful that it stays in remission. 

Ginny Marie! She has been one of closest friends since the day I met her and I can not imagine my life without her and her sweet little family. She's been right by my side during good times and bad. She embarked on marriage right before me and motherhood right before me too, so her advice during these giant life changes is priceless.

That's it for now... more to come at a later date... this year my list is pretty much endless. We have so much to be thankful for!

~Bella Kailani is 4 months and 2 days old and is snuggled in the bed with her daddy

The best days of my life!

Exactly two years ago today, my best friend became my husband!

4 months ago today, all because two people fell in love, this little miracle came into our world!

Nosey Nelly or Bella Kailani, you pick!

Miss Bella Kailani is a crack up! I think we should nickname her "Nosey Nelly". Anytime there are visitors or we go somewhere and she hears a new voice she wakes up with wide eyes and looks all around. Well her Nosey Nelly-ness paid off in our Birth to 3 evaluation.

 Let me preface this whole story by adding that Bella was born 5 weeks early. Which means her chronological age is 3 months and 3 weeks (if you count from her birthday) but her "adjusted age" is 5 weeks sooner. You count her adjusted age based on her due date which would put her at about 2 months. So for her to be considered "on track" for her growth and development they count based on her adjusted age. If she's doing things at a 2 month level then she's considered on time. This adjusted age holds true until she hits 2 years old. That's a long time!! In the healthcare world, 2 years old is when they feel that the baby should be all caught up.

You see, because Miss Bella was born without part of  left hand and without her fingers on her left hand, we called the Birth to 3 program to see if they could have an occupational therapist come out to evaluate Bella and provide us ideas for things to do to encourage the use of her left arm and hand. We call what she has at the end of her left arm a hand because she has part of her palm, just no fingers and stump sounds like such a weird word. Anyhow, they came to do their evaluation and she doesn't qualify for a therapist to visit her on a monthly basis. Monthly is how often they typically visit. She doesn't qualify because she's considered advanced for her age in the visual area and on time for her age in the fine motor area.

I'm sure she's advanced in her visual because she's a Nosey Nelly! She pays such close attention to everyone and everything that's going on in her little world and I love it! She hears mommy or daddy's voice and she's looking all over for us. She hears a strangers voice and her eyes get all wide eyed, trying to figure out where it's coming from. My tiny girl is now a big girl and she's becoming more interactive every day. It cracks me up! She is the light of my life.

~Bella Kailani is 3 months and 3 1/2 weeks old and has some chubby thighs!

Can I handle it again?

That's my dad, that's also the first time I really cried on my wedding day. For some reason, seeing my dad and seeing his reaction to his baby girl dressed in her wedding gown, brought tears to my eyes- alligator tears. My dad has a weird way of showing his emotion. Sometimes he wears his heart on his sleeve and other times he's a real hard ass. Sometimes he has time to talk for hours about nothing, sometimes it's something really heartfelt, other times he's busy working in the garage and he acts as if you've interrupted a life or death situation. That's my dad!

If you recall back to a little over a year ago, I found out my mom had Hodgkin's... today I found out my dad's pet scan was not so good... He went to the doctor a few weeks back who scheduled him for some tests, which ended up in a referral to a pulmonologist, which resulted in a pet scan, which ended up with results coming back today, which will mean a biopsy of "the spots" soon, which will result in who knows what.... It's a waiting game. It's the story of my life, hurry up and wait!

My dad called to tell me about the pet scan and of course, I did something I seem to do very well, I cried. He tried to tell me not to worry, he tried to tell me it would be fine. As a parent now myself, the last thing you'd want is for your kid to worry. As a kid, it's what I do, I worry. I worry for me, I worry for you, I worry for my daughter. Dad, don't be pissed that I'm emotional, don't tell me not to cry. I'm your daughter, for 29 years now a part of you has been walking around outside of your body, that's me and the other part of you is JT.  You should know that I wear my heart on my sleeve, I cry at the Biggest Loser and I will cry about this... it's me, it's what I do, it's how I express my feelings.

 It just sucks I have to do this again, I mean how many kids have 2 parents get cancer in one year? It's bullshit! I mean, if there's a God up there, I've heard "he only gives you what you can handle"... well God I'm hear to tell you, I don't know if I can do this again... Seriously?? Seriously!! I'm just saying!

What happened to my tiny girl?

I got floated to the NICU the other night and was holding a baby that weighed a little over 6 lbs and I was having flash backs of how just 3 1/2 months ago my ladybug was smaller than that. It's hard to believe that at one point she weighed 5 lbs 1.5 oz!! She was such a teeny little thing! Her cloth diapers wouldn't fit, her newborn clothes looked like she was wearing a potato sack! I used to wake up in the morning and say to her "good morning my tiny girl"... where did those days go?! In her momma's eyes, she will always be my tiny girl, even when she's 29 like her momma is now! She will be my tiny girl when she has her own tiny girl or boy.

Now she's topping the charts at over 13 lbs! We haven't weighed her in a couple of weeks but I can tell you she does a number on your shoulders and back. She's outgrown her first set of cloth diapers and the set she's in now will soon be too small too. Her buddah belly is hanging over her 3 month jeans! We will soon be retiring all of her 3 month clothes and moving up yet another size. She's smiling, she's giggling, she's tracking us, she's whimpering when we walk away, she's a social butterfly. She's full of energy, she's a rockstar that doesn't take naps and she loves her mommy and daddy! You can see the love and emotion in her face. It's SO much fun!! She still loves to be cuddled and she needs lots of love and constant attention and interaction. Who knew each phase would be more exciting than the last!

Miss Bella bug is an active little lady. She doesn't have time for naps these days, you see she's far too busy for that! She's starting to pay more attention to her toys. She loves her blue elephant that hangs above her playmat, the 3 others are just ok but the blue elephant, he's her favorite. She loves the lights and action of the TV. Her favorite place to be is on the changing table with her booty getting some fresh air and her momma or daddy talking to her. She hands out smiles free of charge, she's full of them! Today I bought her a little butterfly that plays music and lights up, she's really interested in it. She's found both of her hands and sucks them like there's no tomorrow. She's full of spit bubbles too.

Bella Kailani, thank you for making the sun shine a little brighter in my life. You are the love of my life and you are the apple of your daddy's eye! We can't wait to see what you do next!

Happy Daylight Savings day

Why exactly do we have daylight savings time? It is one thing that we didn't have to deal with in Hawaii, they are smart and don't do it there. No worries about if you should "fall back" or "spring forward" or wondering if you did it on the right day. So today we fell back and thankfully Bella bug got the memo and slept in bed with mommy and daddy until 9 am! Way to go girl! Yeah, I said in the bed with us... the crib is successful about 50% of the time. Can you blame her? Why sleep in a crib all alone when you can sleep next to two toasty bodies that love you to the ends of the earth? I mean, I'd cry too!

It's been busy around our house. I'm back at work full time and Ryan's marketing is in full swing and he's starting his first job as Infinity Painting tomorrow. I'm super proud of him! So we're busy making sure diapers are washed and packed, bottles are washed and packed and there's enough breastmilk at the daycare for her. Thankfully I've been blessed in that department and half of our freezer is full of the white milky goodness! Bella is doing something new each day and I swear she changes if I just turn my head for a split second. This morning, we all woke up  and sure enough, her hair turned this auburn color overnight. I asked her if her Great Grandma Tootie came down from heaven and gave her a dye job... she smiled... I'm not sure if that was a yes or a no :)

Bella's been smiling up a storm. I talk in a silly voice and make funny faces and she smiles. Ryan changes her diaper, she smiles at him. I walk in from work and if she's awake, she smiles at me. She wakes up in the morning, she smiles. I feed her in the middle of the night, she smiles. She's a happy girl! I keep wondering when she'll actually laugh out loud and will I be the first one to see it (yeah that's the crappy part about being a working momma)... Tonight,  I was checking email with Bella asleep on the boppy on my lap and out of no where she laughed out loud, kind of like a little giggle. It was the most adorable thing ever! What could a 3 month old be dreaming about that makes her let our a little giggle? Maybe she was dreaming of swimming in a pool of her momma's milk, that sure seems to make her happy!!

~Bella Kailani is 3 months old and giggled in her sleep for the first time today